MCKL-IAN

so college has started for more than a month now, but as usual i have failed to blog about it. so since im not doing anythin now, here it goes.
if i were to summarize college to one word it would be TIRING! im so fucking tired all the damn time. why? coz i stay in kajang and college is all the way in brickfields. it takes me more that an hour everyday just to get to class. so you can imagine for yourself how early i would have to wake up just to make it for 8 o'clock classes. and class finishes at 4.30 EVERYDAY. then since im to lazy to take the KTM home, i would wait for my mum to finish work, which would be around 6 o'clock. and by the time i reach home, it would be after 7 and by then im to tired to do anything but sleep. so this routine goes on and on for FIVE DAYS! but whatever, im over that...
besides being tired all the time, college is hard. i guess im still in the transition period from SPM to ALEVELS. in school they used to spoon feed us everything , but now we are expected to immediately know what to do when given a task!
and dont get me started on the amount of work we have! even now i should be doing my law essay instead of doing this, but whattheheck!

but college is not all bad. i would say the best part about being in MCKL is that people here actually nice. i am lucky enough to meet cool people who are equally as crazy and freaky as i am. so i guess they take away some of the suckyness... and to top it all off, one of my best friends is actually here with me as well! :D

i guess what i should be saying is im excited to see what this whole college thing has in store for me and that im ready to face coz frankly everyone needs a change and i guess this is a good change for me. i have become more hardworking in this past one month because the competition here is just ridiculous and i dont want to make the same mistakes i made in school. the excessive tons of work just helps me in the long run...i just have to bare with it for now.
im also excited for all the friendships i will form here and the memories i would build.... so bring it MCKL, im ready for you! :p

ps: i know this is a sucky post, but im just in such a lazy mood to make it nice. sorry!
p/ps: i have camp and OB in the up coming to weeks. let's hope it goes well!

symbols!

So Christmas season i just about to be over, which means i have to patiently wait a whole year for my favorite time of the year to arrive again. I always thought Christmas is very whimsical and overly joyous time of year. alot of the things that we seem to associate to chritmas doesn't actually have anything to do with Christmas. Like for example, a Christmas tree, it doesn't actually hold any significance to the birth of Christ, except for maybe pine tree grow abundant in cold countries during this time of year, but other than that..., nothing. Yet somehow everyone from all around the world,no matter where we are from, whether it is a cold country or a blazing hot one like i am, somehow when December rolls over, we see ourselves pulling out the fake store bought Christmas tree and start decorating it with all the beautiful baubles, ribbons, lights and whatever we can fit on the tree. It doesnt matter anymore that there is no historical reasoning to why the Christmas tree is put up every year, we somehow as time passed, made the pine tree a very necessary symbol to Christmas.
i guess that somehow goes for every other celebration. like how did it become mandatory to have a cake be associated with birthdays? But yet somehow for as long as we can remember, every time anyone has a birthday, there will be candles already lit on a cake ready for the birthday person to cut it.
Not knows where this random symbols come about from or even why they are there in the first place. All we know is that some all this things seem necessary to any celebrations!

FEAR

I had to write this to get it off my chest. And since no one reads my  post anyway, it is the best place to post this.

Fear. One simple word. Only four letters. Yet powerful enough to bring a person to their knees. 
What exactly is fear. For some it’s the thought of dying. Or maybe the thought of losing someone. Or even failing. 
Fear is not the same for everyone. Like how we are all different in our own ways, what we truly fear differs as well.
Now this does not mean one can only have one fear. Heck some people live in nothing but fear. 
So what do we do with this fear of ours? Do we succumb to it? Do we fight it? Do we ignore it? 
Now it’s easy for us to say that we have to face our fears. But when the moment presents itself, are strong enough to do it? 
And what if we manage to face our fear? Does that make us fearless? Is anyone ever truly fearless? 
But we can’t possibly live in fear as well. Constantly having to hold back when living our life just because we are afraid too. 
I guess when it comes down it, we just have to decide whether or not we are strong enough. Not strong enough to face our fears, but strong enough to life with it. To continue to live with it.

I guess I now know what I have to do. As much as I hate to do this, but there is no way I’m living my life being constantly afraid. 
So I’m going to face you, and tell you I’m not afraid of you anymore.

When the time is right…… :/

LGBT

to start off, i have to say  that what im saying is merely my opinion. you dont have to agree with it, nor even like it. but i choose to practice my freedom of speech. so if you disagree with what i say, then feel free to stop reading.

living in an asian community we were always thought to never go against socially accepted noms. infact we were supposed to go with the "follow" and never do anything that would shed unwanted spotlight on to your family. so that's how we lived. never wearing to short or too tight because people would call you a slut if you did. sneaking around to go out late. hiding the fact that you have a boyfriend from your parents. the list goes on and on.
so seeing as how (i dont want to use the word narrow minded, but...) narrow minded people in society can be, the word homosexuality seems to be a taboo in many household, mine included. ( you really don't want to know the amount of arguments i get into with my father about this)

it's seems like the worst thing a child can tell their parents is that they are gay. And this always leaves me questioning why? why is it so bad that your son or daughter loves someone? why would you rather your child marry a person they don't love just because you rather it be the opposite sex?
now this all brings them to answer one thing, religion. A great percentage of religions around the world don't accept homosexuality. now im not saying they discriminate, im just saying they don't accept it.
since im a christian, i can only tell you i have been told based on christian teachings.
now im not going to go into the nitty gritty details about why christians are so against gays (again im not saying everyone) but i will say it's because according to them, the 'bible says so'.
interesting enough they should bring up the bible. now let me ask, do you even know how the bible came about?
well i did my research( because im a lifeless bitch that doesnt know what to do with my life) and turns out that the bible was formed due to a politic reasoning. to make it short, the different types of christian movements were fighting claiming their teachings to be the right one. so all this 'leaders' came together to come up with a solution, and they did. they decided to collect the scriptures and to compile they into a book called the bible. now not all scriptures were chosen, many and im talking thousands that are safely locked in the vatican for no one to read. so only the ones deemed worthy were chosen.
so to base an argument on the bible is practically invalid, because not only is the bible WRITTEN by men but also CHOSEN by men. what lies in the many scriptures hidden away from the world? we will never know, there might be things in there supporting homosexuality. there might be! who are you to say isn't?

ok say i decide to comply and accept your argument based on the bible, then let me pose you this, i KNOW God is always about love , then why according to you will God not accept a person because he LOVES another man?why would God suddenly not accept a person, his son for being who he is, for being what God made him?
which brings us to our second argument, people  saying being gay is unnatural, that it goes against the laws of nature. well did you know that homosexuality is present in FOUR HUNDRED spices on the planet? in fact dolphins and primates are know to show more homosexual tendencies than 'straight' ones. so if it's so against nature, then why are animals gay as well? did they magically "decide" they wanted to rebel from their pack and fuck a man? seriously, do you hear yourself sometimes?! animals does things that come naturally to them, they do things because they HAVE to. so if being gay is so unnatural, then please go tell this 400 spieces of animals that they are "going against" nature. homosexuality is present in 400 spices on earth, but homophobia is only present in one, humans. you do the math.

then many will come up and say that gays are the reason AIDS spread so rapidly. get your head out of the gutters and know that AIDS started because of a man deciding to fuck and ape. not through fucking a man. AIDS only spread through men IF AND ONLY IF one of the man already have AIDS. so don't blame gays for starting and spreading AIDS, blame the men that couldn't control his urges and fucked a goddamn ape! besides AIDS can also be spread through men and women as long as they their bloods come in contact. so why not stop everyone from having sex as well then? it will admit that AIDS spreads easier through gays, that's because they bleed more when they do it,but that is why people created a thing called condoms! use it. disease spread everywhere, everyday people die from all sorts of disease, so why only single out AIDS and blame the gays for it? find a way to stop all the diseases in the world then come and start pointing fingers.

some even say that gays are wrong because they cant reproduce. true, gays can't reproduce, but so can't some of the women out there. so are they so called sinners as well? the reason people last time place so much importance on having lots of children, it because the death rates were sky  high. so they needed to "replenished" people. now our world is in fact over populating, so shouldn't we want less people? and like i said there are men and women who cant have children. are they doomed to eternal damnation as well? they're not? then why discriminate and hate the gays but not the men and women?

i don't intend to change anyone's opinion on gays based on the post. i just want people to be more accepting. no hate. you dont have to agree with their lifestyle, they dont want your acceptance , they just want to be able to live without feeling like outcast and sinners. who are were too call people sinners? aren't we ourselves a sinner? only God has the right to make that decision on who is right and who is wrong, not us. God is advocate of love, so as his followers shouldn't we spread love as well.

im not jabbing at anyone through this. you are entitled to your opinion and i am mine. and i am not in anyway jabbing hatred to my religion. i am a christian. i love god... but there is somethings i dont agree with and im not afraid to question because i believe the only way to strength faith is through knowledge. so unless you have a solid and very good reason why homosexuals are wrong, i shall continue supporting them.

SPREAD LOVE NOT HATE! :)

school is over bitches!

school is finally over! after 11 years of schooling in the same place, it finally done! honestly though, i dont really know how to feel about this. it's all so bittersweet.
first and for most im happy. happy because the thing that has been my constant dread for the past years is over. no more going to bed so depressed on sunday nights, coz i have to wake up for school the next day. no more going to school on monday morning scared as hell because i never did any of my homework during the weekends. no more thinking about all the excuses i can think of just so that i can skip school. i no longer need to take the longest route to my class just to cut a couple of minutes of class. no more sitting in class hoping and praying for that one teacher to be absent.. (she never is though ). no more having to put on that hideous piece of clothing we call uniform. no more having to tie a freakin ribbon on our heads( i still dont see the point of it, but whatever) . no more thinking of all the ways i can hide my transcript so that my parents dont find it and kill me for it. no more rushing to complete a folio or peka that we all copy from each other anyway. =.= no more getting punished in class for never keeping my mouth shut ( i love talking ok) . no more teachers constantly comparing me to my siblings, namely my younger sister who seem to do so much better in school than me. (whatever im over it) . no more teachers picking on me for no reason. (ok maybe sometims they do have a reason, but it's almost always invalid)

but then i realized that all these reason that i hated school for, ended up becoming the reason i loved school. like for example, the constantly not wearing ribbons, i kinda enjoyed pissing of the prefect because they had to constantly hound to wear my ribbon.( sorry to all said prefects, no hard feeling aite?) . and using the long way to class? i LOVED  it, it meant more time for me to spend with my besties. that teacher they never seem to miss class, i ended up loving her and her whole weird antics! and somehow being the constant 'rebel' in school, made me  well ME! people soon accepted that that was how i was and nothing was going to change that. the teachers that i once hated, i soon started to like, i respect the fact that they were willing to waste their time and energy trying to make me a better person, and i like to believe that maybe not all their effort was put to waste.

and school wasn't all bad. there were the constant good that i look forward to everyday namely my friends. and i mean all my friends best friends, good friends, casual friends, acknowledgement friends ,EVERYONE. i liked coming to school and meeting and socializing with everyone. i mean where else am i ever going to meet so many awesome people in one place?

besides that i would say school was sort of our shield. it protected us from all the horribleness of the "outside" world, it shielded us from reality. in school we were protected. our teachers were there to cater to us, to help prepare us for what's outside. there were no real consequences for our actions in school, we get punished yes, then what? nothing. and especially being in an all girls school, i dont believe bullying existed. i sure there were the constant cat fights, but nothing serious. so school was our safe haven. sort of.
when we go to college there will be no one to protect us. no teachers to guide us, no one to clean up our messes. in other words we are on our own.

i also feel like in school, we all somehow have become a community. working together in such a comfortable rhythm. yes things like "class rivalry" exist, but stuff like that is only temporary. we are all friends in the end of the day.
and don't get me started on my class, five zamrud! i mean we are literally weird. we have all sorts of people in our class. i think if i were to eleborate, it waill probably take two days to complete this blog.

so i guess what im trying to say is, now that i think about it, school wasn't that bad after all. it gave me merories for a lifetime. it gave me lesson i will never forget and it gave me friendship that will last forever.

so SMK CONVENT KAJANG, IM GOING TO MISS YOU VERY MUCH! :)

(my last post as a school student! )

its called BFF for a reason

its only apporiate that i dedicate a post on my blog to my awesome friends, seeing as how they play a HUGE role in my life. And when i say huge i mean huge. i CAN NOT  imagine school if i didnt have every single one of my best friends with me....
i remember once, when i was in form three, my sister asked me,"how in the world are you guys friends?? you are all so so different..." but i would say that being so different from each other is what makes us, well us!
we have the drama queen=anushia. we have the dive=rachael. we have the mafia boss=shaleen. the pimp=thivya. the dreamer=bai. and the bimbo/know-it-all(oxymoronic right??)=ME!
trust me when i say there NEVER is a dull day...but like every friendships there are sure to be problem, and we are not an exception to that rule....
we have had and sure to have our fair share of problems....but somehow we managed to overcome all off that....


i can not begin to tell you how much each one of them mean to me and how much they have help me.....no matter what problems i have, i dont only have i person to turn to, i have FIVE! how LUCKY  am i?? i know that no matter what my problem is they would NEVER judge me....and i would like to hope that i have been there for them as well....

for a certain period of time last year i was in a pretty dark place.....i was depressed. there i said it. and i remember one them telling me" youre here physically, but YOU are not here. i want the old you back" and lets just say i broke down.....when everyone else, even my own family couldnt see that somehting was wrong with, my best friends could.....they each played a part in helping me stand up again.....(ok im getting teary eyed talking about this) i dont think till today do they realize how much they have actually helped me.... just changing class and being surrounded by them was enough to do the trick....but they did more than that, they lend me a shoulder to cry on when i need it the most....

here are the individual tributes in alphabetical order

ANUSHIA- as stated above the drama queen of the group....she has the ability of making even not completing a homework seem like the end of the world....and i am not in any way exaggerating ....but we love her for it...i mean some one has ensure we do our work. she is also my oldest friend... we've been "together" since kindergarten....12 years and counting....no to mention my gossip buddy....who else is going to sit and discuss with me how annoying adriana is or who's hotter, stefan and damon...not to mention how bitchy blair and serena is....(this are all characters in a show incase you didnt know.ps: thats aim to you shaleen :p) in other words she is my other half....and i love her to bits!!

BAI- the newest addition to the group...for a long time we were all so content with being us, and all of a sudden waltz in this girl with a model physique...it not going to lie it threw me off a bit...not because i didnt like her, more of i was afraid she wouldnt like me....but somehow she just manage to fit in so perfectly...she was like the missing piece to the puzzel...i can honestly say that she is truly and in every way possible, one of us!!


RACHIEE- in every way the definition of the word DIVA...this girl can literally work magic when it comes to fashion! i mean she just needs to grab something and its guaranteed to be awesome.... the shortest of the group, but let me tell you, her confidence and personality can out shine anyone anyday! i once told her that she was my own personal jester....just being her can put a smile on your face....i would always i take her for granted i and i truly am sorry for that.... sometimes i tend to lash out on her, but she just takes it and does not retaliate...so im going to take this opportunity to say that i appreciate every thing you have ever done for me....i cherish all our time together and our "friday bonding" times...priceless....

SHALEEN- what to say....well she likes to think she is a gangsta....so we shall indulge and say that she is....she managed to get me to say the F word like its nothing.....so yeah thats all i have to say bout her....
just kidding...now to the serious things, the magnitude on how much this person has been there for me and has helped me is just unmentionable....its SO easy to just spill your guts out to her and you know, not even for a second will she ever judge you...i know she doesnt seem like the type, but boy can she  give hell of an advice...  shaleen i know youre reading this so im going to tell you, i love you and that youre an amazing person. dont for a SECOND doubt that! and if you do, know that ill be there to assure that you are... and please for gods sake, youre beautiful! believe me when i say that....and girl, i know youll do great things with your life..(the reason yours is more personal is because i know youll actually read it :p)

THIVYA- last but not in any way least....where to begin. the friend that invented the name po, and now literally everyone is calling me po! even the teachers!! the level headed one of the group...i mean you need some to keep us in check seeing as how we are all nuts!! i know she will be there for me no matter what when and where...she once told me that i didnt matter if we are miles apart,if i need her she'll be there, all i need to do is pay the plane ticket..haha.... the point is she has the ability of knowing something is wrong and she can somehow make talk...it baffles me sometimes....she is also the one i turn to whenever the rest wont layan me...they say she manja's me too much...but i dont see it at all...lol..

its my final year of high school this year, come next year we are all going on the next chapter of our lifes....who knows who will end up where... we dont know what will happen tomorrow let alone next year or ten years after that...i sincerely hope that we remain as how we are now....but if by some longshot we are nto, then i have AMAZING memories with my bitches that would last me a lifetime, and no one can take away from me, not even time....

so to my awesomely psychotic friends, i love you and that will NEVER change!!!

anyone who know me would know that im OBSESSED with the vampire diaries....i when i say obsessed i literally mean over the top obsessed.....i my opinion this show could single handedly be THE best show on TV.
i mean where else can you find a tv series where every single cast member seem to look extremely gorgeous?

but im not going to be superficial and tell you that that is the only reason i love the show.....its more than that.
i have been loyal to the vampire diaries ever since i started reading the books 4 years ago...and im not going to lie, when the show first came out i was sort of pissed. i mean elena is supposed to be blonde not a brunette and since when does elena have a brother??
but now i am so glad they choose nina dobrev, because lets face it, it will not be the vampire diaries with her.

now back to the reasons why i adore the vampire diaries. i get it that lots of people refuse to watch this show because they are convinced that it is just another vampire cliche..... but trust me it is not! it way more than that, unlike twilight, this show actually does dwell into the whole mythology of vampirism and the supernatural....
ant thats exactly why i love the show...the fact that is so unreal and over the top.

for that one hour ever friday, when i sit in front of my computer and watch the show, it literally thats me to another place...it makes you forget about reality and for the duration of the show you are completely lured in by this sexy vampires and werewolf.... and thats exactly want you want from a show, the fact that you can escape reality and just start thinking,"what if all this were true?" i mean it sure wouldnt hurt to have my own damon salvatore......
 not to mention, everyone one of the cast members are AMAZING actors....they make each character seem so relateble and real,which should be hard seeing as how they are portraying supernatural creatures.....you cant help but feel for this characters and start rooting for them...

all i know is by the end of each episode is see myself counting down the days to the next episode....and i may have had a dream or two about a certain salvatore brother....